Self-love is essential for nurturing our well-being, yet it often gets neglected in the chaos of daily life. Cultivating self-love requires conscious effort and care to build a profound sense of appreciation and acceptance for oneself. Through my personal journey, I have discovered practices that have been instrumental in enhancing my foundational well-being and fostering a sanctuary of self-love.
Becoming Present
The first step in my self-love journey is embracing presence. Grounding myself in the present moment allows me to let go of past worries and future anxieties. I do this by focusing my attention on my breath and the spaces between my breath. That small gap at the top of your inhale and the bottom of your exhale can support you to become more of an observer of your experience. This can help in being less reactive and more attune to what is actually unfolding in the here and now.
Creating Safety in the Body & Environment
Establishing a safe space within your body and surroundings can be an important practice to invite into each day. I do this by the breathing practice I mentioned above, inviting a sense of love and inner security, tending to my own needs, desires and expressing my boundaries so I feel empowered wherever I go. When I feel safe then I can be authentic. I’m not trying to gain any validation or approval of others. I feel free to be my authentic self, being real, vulnerable and explore authentic relating in many different circumstances and environments because I know I am safe and secure in my own being.
Inviting Self-Compassion
For me finding compassion for others always came pretty easy. But for some reason I tended to be hyper-critical of myself. This was a pattern connected to feelings of unworthiness. The way that I was able to shift this feeling is to actually connect to my inner child. Would I ever talk to a little girl the way I speak to myself? The answer was a strong no. I slowly began to soften with myself. I started to talk to myself the way my inner child wanted to be communicated with. I asked her what she needed. She slowly showed me and I listened with kindness, care and self-compassion. This way of relating helped my heart open and I proved to my inner child that I can trust myself. Treating myself with empathy and care allows me to embrace my imperfections and shortcomings with grace. I can now accept that I am an imperfect person living in an imperfect world trying to do my best and that is more than enough.
Practicing Self-Forgiveness
Forgiving myself for the ways my actions in past had caused suffering and harm to myself and others has given me profound peace. I also realized that I couldn’t actually forgive anyone else who had done me harm if I couldn’t forgive myself, it's just part of the process. As the Trevor Hall song goes, “Forgiveness is for giving, so give this to yourself time to time”.
Acceptance and Radical Responsibility
Self-love involves embracing oneself fully, acknowledging both your gifts and flaws. Celebrating every aspect of who you are may not be accessable at first so you can begin with tolerance. Be patient with yourself and trust in how your self-acceptance starts to grow organically. The next step for me was taking radical responsibility for my thoughts, actions, how I communicate and listen. This way of being empowers me to take more aligned action and decesions which have led me to live a more on purposeful life. I used to shy away from responsibility but now I fully embrace taking responsibility for myself because I have shifted my perspective from it being "work" or an obligation. I now see it as an honor and privilege. I see myself and other people as precious beings. We deserve to be cared for, first and foremost by ourselves.
Practices to Cultivate Presence:
Close your eyes and focus on your breath.
Engage the mind, body, and spirit with curiosity and compassion.
Practice box breathing: Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts. Repeat for a few minutes.
Creating a Safe Environment:
Curate your own sacred space filled with items that bring comfort and inspiration.
Smudge your space with incense or sage to cleanse, clear, and protect your energy and surroundings.
Remember, self-love is an ongoing practice that demands patience, dedication, and a commitment to prioritizing your well-being.
Would you like more support in your Self-Love Journey?
Check out the link to Art of Presencing
Join us February 1-7th for our Women's Self-love Sanctuary Retreat
Embrace self-love, nurture your inner sanctuary, and prioritize your well-being – you deserve it.
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Mucho Amor,
Amanda Luna
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